Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Being a Step-Mommy/Mommy is Such a Blessing

            There are so many blessings in this world and in my life and I am about to experience another one. I am pregnant with Aaron and I’s first child together. I am almost 16 weeks and I have had a pretty easy first trimester.  I had heard all the horror stories of being pregnant but so far so good. We had not planned on getting pregnant so early but we did and we are very excited.
                                         This is Baby Blackwell at 10 almost 11 weeks...
Aaron and most of his family are hoping for a little boy. Grace is hoping for a little girl. She says she has too many brothers at her mom’s house and she would love to have a baby sister. Although she says that the other day she was talking with her Grandma Diane and her grandma was asking her what she wanted the baby to be. Grace’s response was that it is God’s will and whatever God wants to bless our family with. I am so proud of my little Grace. She is growing so much in her faith and it is so beautiful to be able to share this with her. I know she is going to be a great example for her brother or sister to look up to. I know the baby as it gets older will be able to go to Grace and Grace will be able to help the baby out. We have such a beautiful family. I have such a beautiful daughter and I have been very blessed to have her in my life.
In the bible it says in Psalms 127:3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. I am grateful and so very thankful to be blessed with a child of my own.  I know a few of my friends right now who have been working on getting pregnant with their loved ones. I pray each day that they are able to. I know whether or not they are able to bare kids they will be blessed by the Lord with a child one way or the other.
Before I was pregnant I did not think I wanted to ever bring a child into this world. Everything that I have had to go through growing up and what I have seen around me I thought would not be okay for a child to go through. So I did not want to be responsible for doing that to an innocent child. At this time I was not where I am now in my walk with Christ and I had also been told it would be really difficult for to have children of my own because of some medical issues that had come up about 5 years ago. Now that I am seeing the gospel in a different light and seeing the struggles that I once went through and how they have Glorified God I am okay and excited to bring a child to experience the relationship with Jesus.  Before I was planning my life out and now I have realized I am not in control of my life. God’s plan is far better than the one I could come up with for my life. God has not done a crappy job yet. So I think I will continue to trust Him. Well that is all for now. I will keep everyone posted.

Thursday, January 12, 2012

God's Glory Reigns through Death

**The names in this story are not the actual names**


I attend a local church in my community. 2011 was a year of many trials throughout my city. Some I know personally and others have happened in the city I live in. I have seen people come and go in the church this past year. I have friends that have stepped foot in the church and found God.

There is one particular guy that I have known for over 13 years now. For privacy purposes we will call him "Jack". I never thought our paths would cross again years later in church. His coming to church wasn't waking up one Sunday and thinking that, that is where he wanted to be on Sunday. He was introduced to church by someone he dearly loves, someone he was really close to...his brother. We will call his brother "Bill".

"Bill" started going to church and dedicated his life to God. He was the only one in his family who attended church and was a Christian. When I had conversations with "Bill" I could see God shining through him. He was on fire for God. One conversation I had with "Bill" was about his brother "Jack" and "Bill's" girlfriend "Jill". He said he wish they could see God the way he saw him. He wanted them to come to church and give it a try. A couple months after having these conversations with "Bill" he passed and joined his Father in heaven. His death was sudden and unexpected. But "Bill" did not die in vain. "Jill" started coming to church and realized the truth. She was soon baptized. I thought it was amazing that God used one death to bring another to church until God revealed something greater...
I started to see "Jack" at church. I was so excited for him, for "Bill" knowing that the one wish he had was coming true. About a month ago I witnessed "Jack" take communion. I couldn't help but cry. It was such a beautiful thing and I was able to see it. God was working in "Jack's" life even after a tragedy. Last weekend I was attending church and saw another beautiful thing God did. "Jack" and Bill's" mom and sister were at church.



My heart has a soft spot for "Jack" because years ago when we were in the 6th grade I lost my father to cancer. It tore me to pieces and I felt so alone. I was at a nearby park in our neighborhood that "Jack" and I both lived in. I was sitting by myself on the slide thinking and crying. I was missing my dad and did not understand why he was gone. That is when "Jack" was walking by. He saw me and climbed up and sat next to me. He asked if I was upset about my dad and I told him yes. I explained how I was feeling and he just hugged me and told me that my dad was no longer in pain and that he is now in a better place. After all these years I have never forgotten that.



I now look back and can see how God was working through "Jack" then. Though we were just kids God was working. It was through two major deaths in two different lives that God worked them to His Glory. May "Bill" rest in peace and God's glory continue to reign.


I never have told "Jack" that I am thankful and grateful for what he had done for me all those years ago. It goes to show a small thoughtful gesture goes a long way. I hope one day I can tell "Jack" this story and give him a proper thank you.